Let’s Get Real: You are Not Alone

Mother-and-child-beach

Question: What do you get when you combine a work-from-home mom with someone who popped out three kids in three years?

A life that is equal parts bliss and equal parts, how the hell I am going to make it through today? To some, I may look like a seasoned mom because I have a teenager and a few tweens, but I can assure you I am not seasoned in any aspect of my life. I am screwing up this parenting gig by simply trying my best. Each new stage my kiddos enter forces me into a territory I’ve never delved into before, and I have no problem sharing my insecurities, successes and how many times I mutter “I literally can’t” in any given day.

I’ll give you a clue: It’s a lot.

When I started writing over a year ago about my experience as a mom and the love, sadness and caffeine that have shown me the way, I got something wonderful in return; other moms started thanking me for sharing my truth, and it has been a wonderful gift.

My goal was to simply write, but what I have discovered is we all just want to feel like we aren’t alone in this unknown territory. So many of us discover the picture we had in our minds before we had kids does not match up to our reality. We are constantly rewriting our stories; no one is actually nailing it all the time, so let’s just let ourselves (and each other) off the hook.

Sure, we all have our moments when we are waiting for our crown or latte for doing a kick-ass job. Most of the time, however, we don’t feel capable and think we should be fired from this parenting gig because we are positive we aren’t qualified and have no idea how we are going to do this for the rest of our days.

Because. This. Shit. Is. Hard. 

But then there are the in between moments: the soccer games, the running late to the birthday party, the forgetting why we walked into the room and the times we find ourselves looking at our kids across the dinner table and thinking, I love you so damn much, but please stop biting your fork, or I am going to go to the bad place.

I believe in sharing our stories, even the messy stuff—especially the messy stuff. We all have it hidden away or out in the open, and when we are brave enough to admit we have screwed up, have no idea what we are doing, or we are making mistakes on the regular, we are allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, yes, but we are also helping the mom who cried because her child was tantruming at the grocery store and she got dirty looks because of it. 

We are letting the mom who caught her child lying know she isn’t the only one going through this, and it certainly doesn’t mean he is going to end up doing time in his adult years.

We are giving that bad ass single mom the hope and confidence she needs.

When we can be honest and truly accept our imperfect selves, we can empower each other. There is nothing like knowing you have support and you aren’t alone. 

I can’t wait to share my disasters and triumphs with you (the disasters outweigh the triumphs by a million). By doing this, it is my hope whether you are staring at your child longingly as they share their crackers with their brother or you are currently counting down the minutes until bedtime while eating cake over the kitchen sink, that you know you are meant to be a mother, and you are doing a damn good job.

About Katie Bingham-Smith

Katie Bingham-Smith had three kids in three years and crafts her ass off in order to stay sane. She loves to write, wear faux leather pants, eat at burger joints and make beautiful things. She pays her kids to rub her feet and play with her hair. You can see more of her writing on Scary Mommy, Babble, Grown and Flown, Mom.me, She Knows, Momtastic, and Mommyish.