Dad Talk Spotlight: Alex Holguin

We focus so much on motherhood: leaning into the motherhood, transitioning to motherhood, finding your group of live-or-die friends via motherhood.

But what about the dads?

When my little twosome expanded into a threesome, my marriage was affected. All of the blissful time my hubby and I had shared – going to movies, working out together, sleeping in – shut itself off seemingly overnight to be shelved until…later.

Five years on, and we have found a new normal, replete with high highs and frustrating lows. I see the joy etched on his face. I see the exhaustion. I see my daughter reflected back in my husband, in her mannerisms and intelligence, but in this mother-centric world, we rarely slow our roll enough to ask…What does fatherhood mean to you?

So, amidst a chaotic day full of work and responsibilities, I did just that.

Meet Alex. He’s my husband of almost seven years and the father to our daughter, Sophie, who is nearing five.

He’s meticulous, tender, patient, hilarious and so very strong, but he’s more than that. He’s a dad.

And this is what that means to him.

Rea Frey Holguin: So, you’re a dad. What does that word mean to you?

Alex Holguin: Being a dad means a lot. It has a certain weight to it that a man cannot understand unless he is a dad. You become so much more than just a man.

RFH: What has been the best part about becoming a dad?

AH: The best part about becoming a dad is the fact that I am truly tested as a person each and every day. (Like, really tested.) Before I was a father, I thought I was the most patient person around, but it has truly made me realize my flaws and my strongest characteristics. It has also taught me to love unconditionally, which is something we, as humans, talk about, but don’t really do with people other than our children.

RFH: The hardest?

AH: The hardest part is making time for everything and everyone.

RFH: Yeah, no shit.

AH: I know no shit. That’s why I just said it.

RFH: Oh, so what? You’re a funny dad?

AH: I am THE funny dad.

RFH: (Incessant eye rolling)

RFH: If you could teach your daughter anything about life, what would it be?

AH: I would teach her to be kind and to love with every part of her being. In return, she will be treated the same way. I would also teach her to be brave. Try everything. And recently I heard a quote: “Do what you can’t.” I would teach her that whenever possible, do what you can’t.

RFH: How can you do what you can’t? For instance, I can’t play volleyball.

AH: But you should still do that.

RFH: But I physically cannot. You cannot do what you cannot do.

AH: But maybe you can if you believe you can.

RFH: You’re a can.

AH: I could be a can if I believed I could be a can.

RFH: Next question. What scares you most about parenthood?

AH: The thing that scares me the most about being a parent is regretting anything I’ve ever said or any decision I’ve ever made when it comes to being a father.

RFH: I pretty much regret something everyday.

AH: Yep. Welcome to parenthood.

RFH: Describe yourself as a dad in three words.

AH: Protective. Loved. Nervous.

RFH: Nervous?

AH: Yes, nervous.

RFH: Really? You don’t seem nervous.

AH: You’re making me nervous.

RFH: They make a pill for that. Favorite moment with Sophie?

AH: My favorite moment with Sophie is actually a recurring one: Every single day when I drop her at school, I hug her and give her a big kiss. I tell her to have a great day. And then I watch her walk down the hall to her class. Lately, she turns around halfway down the hall and waves to me, then blows me a kiss.

RFH: Swoon. Thing you’re proudest of about your current life?

AH: My family. My wife is an amazing partner and mother. And my daughter is the perfect character. She amazes me every single day.

RFH: Ditto. 

Photo Courtesy of Nikki McFadden Photo

About Rea Frey

Rea Frey is a lover of coffee, words and sleep, though since becoming a mother, she gets too much coffee, writes endless words and thinks about uninterrupted sleep the way she would a lover lost at sea—that is to say, often. She is the author of four nonfiction books and an upcoming women’s suspense novel, THE LONELY GIRLS (St. Martin’s Press), which will be published summer 2018. When she’s not exercising, mothering, adulting, wifing, eating or writing about herself in the third person, you can find her blogging about various topics at reafrey.com.